chase scenes serial #3
Its 2006 now, April, late April. I have one more volume left in ‘In Search of Lost Time.’ Those damn French bastards. You see, 2 pages ago I said I wanted to experiment. What is that even? Like I don’t cross anything out and write in pen? Well does that mean I type the wrong title to that Burzum album because I know for damn sure I spelled it wrong. Its strange because I can clearly picture the title, ‘Hvis Lyset tar Oss’ or ‘Os.’ I believe it means ‘When the Light Takes us.’ Or perhaps ‘When the Light Leaves Us.’ But what is the value in such experimentation, or in such process, is there any for me, for the reader‡? In fact I believe Roubaud wrote in such a way in The Great Fire of London although slower, and he was smarter than I, and perhaps knew his text would be read, I choose to not have such burdens placed upon me I can be in that pool and in that closet and I can mention here that those cut-rate Cheerios gave me viscous hallucinogenic gas and that I kept that little stifling closet shut and wallowed in it and yet here I am, 24 hours into my trip to North Dakota and what of it. Perhaps the realization that there is a pool here, and that I have been to a gas station where my father bought me this notebook. Perhaps. No, it is so obvious
‡ I feel that I was using the term experimentation rather glibly. I did not establish a sense of what it stood for, what it was gauged against, and whether it had to be hatched externally or internally, that is, is my desire to experiment, or does my desire to experiment, mean that I should do something new for myself, for the moment, or new in the contemporary context of writing or memoirs, or is it that my desire to capture the distraction, or the visual quality of the mind’s, of my mind’s focus. I have read. Wait… my mind’s focus is experimentation in the context of my own writing history. I have read that the space in the visual field that the eye can actually focus on is minute, perhaps the size of a poker chip ten feet (10′) away. The eye is always, is constantly moving in fluttering scans across small spaces to produce the illusion of a broader zone of focus, and between discrete zones which can never be perceived together, do they even exist in the same place, can you corroborate it?